The Pastor’s Study

by: Rev. Alex Molozaiy, Pastor

In a few days I’ll turn 44. In itself, that’s not much of a milestone and for most people it’s probably one of those birthdays that comes and goes with little fanfare. But for me, it’s a little bit special. At first, I couldn’t put my finger on why this one feels a little different. Then, I remembered that it was exactly 20 years ago that I quit my job and left Florida to enroll as a student at Elmhurst College. I was going back to school. My first attempt, at a community college, didn’t go all that well. I didn’t care much for the coursework, and I had the grades to prove it. Ultimately, I dropped out and spent a few years that could best be described as ‘rudderless.’ At the age of 24, I barely had enough credits to be a Sophomore.

When I showed up in class that first semester, I was taken aback by how much I had changed over the course of five years: my priorities, values, work ethic, and general attitude would have been almost unrecognizable to my 19 year old self. I went from barely squeaking past minimum requirements to being a ‘straight A student’ for the first time in my life. It was a very affirming experience, especially since going back to class was, for me, a leap of faith. Three years later, I would graduate with six semesters of those straight A’s.

As I look back those 20 years, it’s hard for me not to laugh at myself. I thought I was busy then. I thought I knew a lot about everything, including about God, following Jesus, the work of the church, and, of course, how pastors should be spending their time! I know a lot less about those than I did 20 years ago.

And yet, I can’t help but feel that I’ve grown. I know less about God, but as a parent I’ve grown in my relationship with God as I’ve learned the frustration of being unable to force my beloved children to bend to my will. Following Jesus seemed easy when it was ditching the fishnets and finding adventure in ministry, but I’ve grown by standing near the Cross and those who are suffering. I know less about the work of the church, but I’ve grown by doing my best to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.

This month, I invite you to look back 20 years. What work has God been doing in you over that time? In what ways have you grown? What are you better at now than you were then?